Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alt...

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Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives—without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness—one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.

This bold and healing book offers step-by-step, concrete instructions that help us make peace with others and with ourselves, while answering such crucial questions as these:

  • How do I forgive someone who is unremorseful or dead?
  • When is forgiveness cheap?
  • What is wrong with refusing to forgive?
  • How can the offender earn forgiveness?
  • How do we forgive ourselves for hurting another human being?


  • How do I forgive someone who is unremorseful or dead?
  • When is forgiveness cheap?
  • Can I heal myself – without forgiving?
  • How can the offender earn forgiveness?
  • What makes for a good apology?
  • How do we forgive ourselves for hurting another human being?

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