Okay, so an elf blasted his way into my kitchen and it resulted in me killing a man in the nastiest of ways, but that's an occupational hazard. Good news? I had a job, and it was a doozy.

It was time to go steal a...

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Okay, so an elf blasted his way into my kitchen and it resulted in me killing a man in the nastiest of ways, but that's an occupational hazard. Good news? I had a job, and it was a doozy.

It was time to go steal a magical belt, the infamous Ræth Næg. That wasn't the best part, though. Yeah, that's right, I got to wear my ninja slippers ❤

But nothing was as it seemed, and elves were not to be trusted. Plus, there was the small issue of the million dollars. Oh, and the Hounds, and Vicky, who was doing my head in, and the vampires, and... You'll just have to read the damn book to find out the rest.

Hi, I'm Arthur "The Hat" Salzman. Gangster. Wizard. Screwed (again).

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